I think the best thing I’ve ever done in my life, or the best decision I’ve ever made to date is continuing to believe and have faith in Allah, trusting him enough to guide me and knowing that no matter what he’s got me!
Like its weird because even when I’m feeling down or something I always just remember or have at the back of my mind that he’s just testing me and truly he gives his hardest test to his strongest soldiers. I can only imagine what he has in store for me whether that be, in this world or the hereafter, like its such a powerful, heart-warming feeling to have. And every time I think about what Allah (SWT) has done for me I just get really emotional because who would’ve known that I’ll be here happy with all the things currently happening in my life the way they are happening right now like arghhh just woawww. Honestly I never take that feeling for granted like sometimes I just take a step back from my life just to appreciate how far I have come and when I am feeling down I use that to make me feel smile again because if I have come this far insofar it excites me to see how much further I’ll continue to go no matter what life throws at me.
I know that everyday I complete, is a day more than I’ve ever thought I will complete and it motivates me to complete one more day in faith.
Another thing in my life that I consider life-changing was praying for what I want and speaking it into existence rather than always focusing or rather than even praying for what I’m in to stop – if that makes sense. For example like I prayed for a good mental health, where I don’t have any suicidal thoughts and where I no longer feel trapped in a dark hole rather than crying and shouting to Allah WHY ME, why do I feel unworthy of living??
Down to even praying for seemingly trivial things like good friends that I can have good banter with, that understand me, that we can intellectual conversations with rather than complaining about not currently having friends or crying and shouting to Allah WHY ME, why don’t I have good friends, why am I alone etc.? Or praying for a better relationship with my parents, for my parents to understand me and I understand them, praying to make my parents proud but in return my parents should allow me to make them proud rather than again crying WHY ME, why do my parents not get me why are they so strict so restricting and stuff like that.
Or another thing I now pray for whenever I’m in any sort of stress or hardships is for God to give me patience and strength to go through the test that you are giving me right now because I know it will pass and I know on the other side you’ll bless me abundantly.
And again some people may say this is the ‘law of attraction’ and I guess it is but you know the way I see it is once I changed how I prayed or even how I cried to my Lord it wasn’t me saying I don’t trust your plan or me questioning the way he does things for me but rather me saying that I do trust your plan and I do have faith in you despite whatever’s going on and I know you will bless me with these things with time.
Arghhh I hope I’m making sense I can’t even articulate it properly but yeah man.
Its mad because now I’m on the other side, seeing all that I’ve prayed and asked for happen just before my eyes and remembering the exact moment I prayed for it with weak spirits but a strong faith and to me its all maddddddd because who would’ve thought.
Obviously I know I have a long way to go but right now I’m just enjoying the process. The highs, the lows, the good, the bad and the ugly it’s all part of the process and all part of life. And life is what you make it, and the end of the day we all die and are returned to our lord. So I guess I just pray that I do justice to the life I’ve been given and I pray God takes me when he’s most pleased and happy with me and with what I’ve done with the life he’s given me.
This piece is really all over the place but really this was just how I was feeling and I thought I’ll share the warmth that I was currently feeling and the excitement and buzz I was getting.
And lastly to anyone lacking faith, just pray. Pray, pray and pray. There is nothing too small or silly to pray for, don’t let anyone make you believe that your problems are trivial or seemingly insignificant because to God, there is no problem too small or too big that he can’t handle.
Thank you for reading – Lots of love